parenting: trust your gut.

So, we are all aware here that Mr. Epic and I are parenting n00bs. We are brand spanking new to parenting, and so far have the safety net of caring for our little one in-utero instead of out here in the big, scary world. Part of me knows it's healthy for me to be a tad nervous about keeping our kid alive, to keep me careful and vigilant. This is the part of me that Googles childcare topics, that buys and means to reads baby care "manuals," that fact-checks every morsel of possibly-outdated information my mom so confidently passes along to me, that signs up for childbirth and infant care classes at the hospital way earlier than most pregnant ladies probably do.

But there's another part of me that says to keep that baby-wrangling anxiety down to a dull roar, because I know I will be able to handle this. I am wired with millions of years' worth of parenting instincts--thanks, evolution! I have a good head on my shoulders, I am observant and nurturing, and I know when to look outside of my intuition for expert advice. Trust me, I've practiced all this on the puppies.

Ironically, I once read in a book about childbirth and parenting--by an OBGYN, no less--not to go overboard with parenting books because too much research on all this stuff can sort of desensitize you to your innate maternal instincts. At the very least, it can set you up with a complex where you've taught yourself not to trust them. There's so much racket out there in the parenting advice world, and everyone claims to be an expert, so you have to be very careful in whose version of things you choose to trust. It leaves something to be said for trusting yourself and the maternal toolbox nature has installed in your own head. As trite as it sounds, if you are a caring, loving, and reasonably intelligent parent, then you do basically know what's best for your own child much or most of the time. 

As a lay truster of science, I think I sometimes disregard what doesn't fit into my definition of hard evidence, forgetting that animal instinct is a legitimate part of that even though it is hard to pin down and observe. But recently, I've had two occasions to meet and hold a baby--one a week-old newborn and one nearly six months old. On both of those occasions, I have felt it more than I ever have before when awkwardly holding someone else's child. That maternal instinct kicked in and told me how to hold, how to move, what soothing sounds to make. As someone who is historically mildly uncomfortable holding others' babies, I must say this shift seems like observable evidence to me. 

I got this.